Don’t Just Love Yourself — Believe in Yourself

This is why you should love yourself. It’s something we hear all the time in an era that — fortunately — is increasingly accepting of self-care and self-love, but — unfortunately — doesn’t always offer honest portrayals of what that looks like.

We see celebrities, influencers and old schoolmates alike taking to social media with well-timed, well-lighted selfies, curated captions about acceptance, and impressive outcomes to show for it. We listen to motivational podcasts about chasing our personal and professional goals. We watch speeches on self-growth. We follow hashtags on side hustles, subscribe to stories on self-care routines, and see others sharing both their best sides and slivers of select vulnerability.

Sometimes, we feel inspired. Sometimes, we feel empowered. But most of the time, we’re probably hovering between enlightened and confused, self-assured and questioning — because how do we really do this life thing, let alone love ourselves 100%?

How do we balance ambition and relaxation? How can we be self-confident, but selfless communicators? How should we continue to grow, but still accept ourselves as we are?

Being human isn’t easy, and self-love isn’t always as simple as it looks — but you should do it anyway. Here’s why you should love yourself — and believe in yourself — even when it doesn’t feel easy.

You understand yourself.

Have you ever felt different? I have. Sometimes, I feel like no matter what group of people I’m with, I never quite fit properly — like a jigsaw piece borrowed from another puzzle and forced in at the corner, almost right, but not quite.

In the past, it has occasionally made me lonely, doubtful, more likely to draw back. But it shouldn’t — because everyone feels like this sometimes.

The truth is, you can meet, love and spend your life with both like-minded spirits and people who are your complete opposites. In fact, you should. It will encourage you to listen a little more carefully, to judge less harshly, to grow more graciously. But even though you might find others like you, you’ll never find anyone else who is you.

You know yourself — all of yourself — and you understand yourself like no one else ever can. Instead of making you lonely, this should make you feel liberated. You are free to be yourself, to know yourself, to love yourself — and you don’t need to explain or change that for anyone in order to do so.

You show up for yourself.

You might have others in your life who show up for you — friends, family, significant others, or even coworkers. Feeling valued, appreciated and supported is a beautiful part of life, but it’s also important to remember — and reinforce — what you do for yourself.

You wake up every day and point yourself in the right direction, even if sometimes it feels like you don’t know which way you’re going. You take yourself to work, or school, or the dentist’s office, or the grocery store. You put in time for your career, your education and the people you love. You take yourself to the park, to the gym or to the kitchen to care for your body. You pick movies, books or paint colors to nourish your spirit. You give yourself sleep when you need rest. You take care of yourself.

Every day, without even thinking about it, you show up to put time and effort into you — and that’s worth believing in.

You know what you need.

Because you’re the person who has your back — 24/7 — you’re also the person you can trust most to know what is right for you. You can take advice from your life coach or your favorite magazine or the people closest to you, but when it comes down to important decisions — big or small — you are the only person who knows in your gut what you want, what you need.

Why should you love yourself? So you can trust yourself. So you can see yourself clearly — and live in the way you know you need to. When you believe in yourself, that’s the best way to show self-love.

You have the power to shape your life.

Whether it was a teacher, a parent or a jealous coworker in your high school job, we all have people in our lives who have told us our dreams aren’t possible, or realistic, or worthwhile. Hopefully, you also have people who lift you up, encourage you and inspire you.

But whatever you’re hearing from the outside, the action to make your aspirations possible can only come from the inside. You are the one with your life in your hands. You get to decide what to do with it — and how. Sometimes loving yourself means pushing yourself to take positive steps in the right direction. If you’re looking for a happy and fulfilling life, one where you reach for your potential, know that you’re the only one who can make it happen — and start with believing that.

You’re worth it.

Life isn’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. But you are worth the effort.

Loving yourself might not look the same to you as it looks online or from the outside. It might not look like an inspirational podcast or a golden-filtered Instagram profile or a PhD.

Instead, it could mean giving yourself enough credit to go for that thing you want — whether it’s taking a trip, writing a book or working on that blank canvas sitting in the corner. It could mean picking yourself up for a walk even when you feel lazy, or letting yourself relax when you’ve been working too hard. It could mean finding the strength to say no to what doesn’t serve you.

Maybe it will look a little messy. Maybe it will start, and stumble, and start again. Because self-love isn’t a fixed state of mind — it’s a choice you make every day.

Believe in yourself — because you deserve it.